seriouslysheila's Xanga

What I Cannot Change

Wed, 06 Aug 2008 15:08:18 GMT

So I was doing my usual thing at work, listening to my internet radio on pandora.com (so awesome if you haven't heard of it!!!) while I was looking at data, and this song came on from Leann Rimes: 'What I Cannot Change' from her album Family. It started out really slow and pretty. When I started listening to the words, it moved me so much. I went out and bought the cd this weekend, and I have been listening to it non-stop.

One problem that I have with my life is that I worry to much about what I can't change, and I don't worry enough about what I can. No more!!!! I want to look back on my life and know I made a difference at the end, not how rich or how many friends I had...

Here's the lyrics:

I know what makes me comfortable
I know what makes me tick
And when I need to get my way I know how to pour it on thick
Cream and sugar in my coffee
Right away when I awake
I face the day and pray to God I won't make the same mistakes
Oh the rest is out of my hands

I will learn to let go what I cannot change
I will learn to forgive what I cannot change
I will learn to love what I cannot change
But I will change, I will change
Whatever I, whenever I can

I don't know my Father
Or my Mother well enough
Seems like every time we talk we can't get past the little stuff
The pain is self inflicted
I know it's not good for my health
But it's easier to please the world than it is to please myself
Oh the rest is out of my hands

I will learn to let go what I cannot change
I will learn to forgive what I cannot change
I will learn to love what I cannot change
But I will change, I will change
Whatever I, whenever I can

Right now I can't care about how everyone else will feel
I have enough hurt of my own to heal

I will learn to let go what I cannot change
I will learn to forgive what I cannot change
I will learn to love what I cannot change
But I will change, I will change
Whatever I, whenever I can

Article: When Should Parents Stop Paying the Rent?

Thu, 24 Jul 2008 15:15:37 GMT

I was reading this article from Newsweek; it's is so good, I couldn't agree more. Sometimes I get down about not having enough money to save, but then I remember that I am making it on my own, without help from my parents. Living on my own for as long as I have has taught me the importance of budgeting, a skill that I hope to take with me into the future, married or single. Just read, I couldn't agree more...

Subsidized in the City

Adulthood means financial independence. So why do so many of my peers still live off their parents?

By Melody Serafino | NEWSWEEK

Published Jul 19, 2008

For the recent college graduate, living in New York—the city of dreams and opportunity—is no easy feat. As twentysomethings, we sacrifice having any semblance of savings to survive in a city that promises so much social and cultural diversity. After all, when the bright lights of the big city call, who can refuse? For those who crave urban living at its best, New York is a siren, singing an irresistibly enticing song—that is, until you're lured in and, before you know it, have forked over 80 percent of your salary for rent.

I always knew I would end up in New York. After college and a three-month stint living rent-free in an uncle's Tribeca apartment, I had saved enough money to renounce further financial assistance from my parents. If I was ever in a serious financial bind, I knew they would offer help, but after 10 years of private-school education on their dime, I didn't want to come crawling back for an allowance. Besides, wasn't that the point of my expensive education—to adequately prepare me to take on the world and take care of myself? Financial independence means social freedom and absolute control over my own life. Yet among my peers, I seem to be the only one who feels this way.

Why? Because the majority of them receive some sort of financial assistance from their parents—and few say they want to change anything about the way they live. One 25-year-old friend—whose parents pay for more than half her rent and all her utilities, as well as giving her spending money—snubbed the idea of compromising her lifestyle for financial independence. Another, a 22-year-old who gets a portion of her rent paid by Mom and Dad, admitted she would be willing to cut back on "superfluous spending," but was reluctant to move out of Manhattan and into a more affordable borough like Brooklyn or Queens.

Higher rents and the need for deeper pockets are part of the charm associated with city living, but urban pricing aside, it is possible to live in any city regardless of your age or income; it just takes a little budgeting and prioritizing. Surrendering to lifestyle flexibility may be unattractive, but sometimes it's necessary. It's easy to "keep up with the Joneses" when financial responsibility is someone else's problem. The fact is, my peers who flood out of designer stores, arms adorned with shopping bags, wouldn't be able to afford their purchases without ringing up a massive credit-card debt. By continuing to provide for their twentysomething kids, parents hinder their children's ability to be financially responsible. If you don't learn to budget early on, what will inspire you to do so when your finances become your own prerogative?

It's not just Manhattan where I've noticed this phenomenon. A Chicago acquaintance was promised an apartment as a graduation gift; a Boston friend receives a hefty monthly stipend. The stakes are higher in a city, which is why many young people feel the need to compete with each other. But when parental handouts are not only offered but expected, what is Generation Y learning about living on its own?

It is disturbing when "adults" don't have their own credit cards linked to their own accounts for fear of overspending. A friend confessed to me that she didn't need to build credit. If the need for a loan ever arises, she told me, she can go to her parents or—as she secretly hopes—a husband who will take care of it.

At 25, I'm still questioning what it means to be an adult. But I know that part of it means having the financial independence to never have to rely on my parents for my decision making. This is indicative of a sort of social independence as well. If I want to plan a vacation halfway around the world, I do—and no one can tell me otherwise, because I am depending on my own means to get there. I can live wherever I want because I am paying my own rent. Financial independence has allowed for absolute control over my own life—an undeniably liberating feeling.

There is something to be said for writing that rent check each month and knowing you've managed to live comfortably on your own terms. Racking up $500 shopping sprees on Mommy and Daddy's credit card may have its momentary allure, but the adult part of me believes that working for what you have is much more rewarding than being handed it on a silver platter. And I have my own mom and dad to thank for that.

Serafino lives in New York City.

Friday, July 18, 2008

Fri, 18 Jul 2008 17:45:41 GMT

I was listening to this song today "Many the Miles" by Sara Bareilles. There is this one verse that basically matches how I've been feeling lately to a T:

"Red letter day and i'm in a blue mood
Wishing that blue would just carry me away
I've been talking to God don't know
If it's helping or not
But surely something has got to got to got to give
Cause i can't keep waiting to live"

I was just texting to a friends this morning that I am so tired of wishing that my life was the way I want it, I simply want it to be like I want it... if that makes sense. As the song says, "I can't keep waiting to live".

I know what life has ups and downs, but I feel as if I've had my fair share of downs since I entered the post-college adult world, I feel like its my turn to have happiness....

Ugh... I'm just having a 'Red letter day and I'm in a blue mood' day....

Is faith the only issue in the 2008 presidential race?

Thu, 07 Feb 2008 22:40:57 GMT

So, I know its been a long time since I've posted anything, but I couldn't resist this article, I couldn't agree more!!!! This presidential election is so crucial for the future of our country, and I want to make my own decision about who I want to vote for based on the candidate that I most closly agree with, not the one my pastor, mom/dad, or friends tell me I should. We should all make up our own minds based on the issues [health care (don't get me started...), the economy, immigration, education, the war in Iraq....etc]. It is our democratic obligation to do so! ~SJ

"Misplaced Faith"
by Holly Vicente Robaina
Is faith the most important issue in the 2008 presidential race?
January 23, 2008 |
News reports indicate religious faith is one of the most important issues in the 2008 presidential election—right up there with the Iraq war, economy, immigration, environment, education, health care, and terrorism. I wonder, When did faith become an "issue"?
I don't know whether pundits, political analysts, or the presidential candidates themselves decided faith would be a hot topic for this election. Maybe the public—or even we Christians—did. In any case, candidates clearly are making their beliefs known. Mike Huckabee's campaign slogan is "Faith. Family. Freedom." Hillary Clinton spoke about faith and works at Saddleback Church's 2007 HIV/AIDS Summit. Barack Obama's website lists a phone number voters can call to pray for him and his family.
And the media have provided a plethora of information about each presidential candidate’s faith. Last summer, CNN broadcasted a Sojourners-sponsored forum focusing on the top three Democratic candidates’ spiritual beliefs. Beliefnet.com and Time magazine created "God-o-meter," a ten-point rating system measuring how often presidential candidates mention God and faith. And a PBS webpage contains downloadable sound bites of references to faith in campaign speeches.
This frenzy over faith concerns me. I'm worried it might overshadow important election topics such as the ongoing war. I'm worried Christian voters will feel pressured to vote for the candidate most vocal about his or her faith. And I'm tremendously worried the church will be perceived as a political pawn.
In 2004, political analysts suggested George W. won because he reached out to evangelicals and secured their vote. Ever since, both Republicans and Democrats have courted evangelical Christians. In the current presidential race, several candidates from both major parties use church language and mention favorite Bible verses or worship songs in their speeches. These hints at faith are so frequent, they’ve almost created a second race to determine the "Best Christian."
I find this faith rhetoric entirely unhelpful. Once candidates have indicated their faith background, I neither need nor want them to quote Scripture or use church-isms. I have trouble hearing a candidate's ideas on major foreign and domestic issues when they're tangled up with faith references. Plus, the overuse of faith as a political buzzword dilutes its real meaning.
Truth is, candidates are using faith to manipulate Christian voters. So how do we escape from this game and make a wise choice at the polls?
1) We need to view ourselves as employers. The president is an employee of every American, and the presidential election is the one of the most important hiring decisions Americans undertake.
A wise employer understands personal priorities don't always correlate with hiring needs. If my car breaks down, I hire a competent mechanic to repair my vehicle. However, I'm a happy person who prefers to be around happy people, and the best mechanic in town happens to be moody and withdrawn. I'll probably hire him even though he isn't a happy person like me. Sometimes we need to let go of a few personal priorities to get the job done right.
2) We need to push beyond the faith criteria. Assuming a candidate will be more ethical and moral if he or she professes Christian faith is a mistake. We've all read the headlines about high-profile believers breaking laws or committing immoral acts. Additionally, candidates could lie about their faith, or they may never have changed because of their beliefs. Even if a candidate's faith is firmly rooted, it doesn't predict his or her policy decisions as president.
3) We need to do the hard work of becoming well informed. We shouldn’t take the easy route by picking the candidate who earns our pastor’s endorsement or sends us a campaign postcard with a cross on it. It’s important to study a candidate's voting record and past and present political statements.
Nothing’s wrong with voting for a candidate of strong faith. In fact, I'd prefer our country’s leader believe in God. But if faith is all we're demanding in a president, we're demanding too little.

Something to think about...

Tue, 03 Jul 2007 17:25:07 GMT

So, I was reading this article in a e-mail newsletter: "Happy Interdependence Days" By Camerin Courtney. It is about depending on people, and how that can be a good thing. The whole article is good, but I thought this part was the best:

"With these new realizations dawning, when my parents offered to help me get settled in my current home when I first moved in, I happily took them up on their offer. My folks, bless their hearts, drove ten hours with an air conditioner unit they weren't currently using in their trunk and my dad's drill ready to help me put pictures on my plaster walls. Years ago I would have been uncomfortable with this much help. I would've wanted to do it myself in order to prove that, well, that I could do it all myself. That much assistance would've tromped on my independent nature. But the older and wiser me simply thanked them profusely and took them out to dinner at a nice restaurant in my new neighborhood to underscore my gratitude.
As single people, I think it's especially easy to fall into the trap of thinking we can get by just fine in this life on our own, thank you very much. We don't need anyone or their silly help. If asking for assistance is something we simply don't do as competent human beings in modern-day America, then we certainly don't do it in its fast-growing suburb of Singlesville.
But when I've gotten really honest with myself, I've realized the times I've bucked at my parents', coworkers', or friends' offers of help in the past have been more about pride than independence. As a single person, without all the usual "props" of adulthood (i.e. a spouse, some kids, an SUV), it's easy to feel as though people don't see us as grown-ups yet...But when I've stopped and taken a look around, more often than not I've realized the only person I've been proving my adulthood to is me."

I just had a conversation with a friend about this very issue. Her sister is in college and still in the mindset "If I let people help me, I must not be an adult.' Her sister basically accused her of being a baby for my friend letting her parents help her out. I used to be in the same school of thought: 'I cannot depend on people if I want to be independant,' but the more I live life out in the real world, the more I realize that we do need people, married or single, man or woman, young or old.

For instance, when I wanted to buy a new bed for my apartment, I found that I was not going to get the bed I wanted for a good price. I went to several stores, and after the salesmen being rude and not letting me bargin, I called me Dad, and he came up and helped me get a good price. (He did the usual dad thing- i.e.- stern look followed by 'What's the best price you can give her?'.) I walked away with a pretty good bed for less than the list price. When I moved out of my old apartment, I graciouly accepted the help of my friends (and their pick-up trucks and SUVs!). I have moved my self several times, it took at least a day, if not more. With everybody helping me, It only took two trips and half a day, and that was because we couldn't figure out how to get the futon out the door, but we finally did.

Not to say that I don't enjoy being independant everyonce in a while. Heck, I live by myself, who else is going to kill the spider or take the trash out? A guy in the parking lot of my apartments kinda looked twice when he saw me out under the hood of my car checking the clutch fluid. What are you going to do though? It had to be done. I enjoy learning how to do things like that.

So, that's about it, the more and more I live, the more and more I learn that being an adult is letting people help you when you need it.

I love days like this...

Mon, 04 Jun 2007 14:06:16 GMT

I had a really good day yesterday. I felt like I haven't had a really good day in a long time. I went to church in the morning and we sung this song called 'When I Think About the Lord', its about all the things that God has done for us. I started thinking when the last time that I had really thought about all the things that God has done for me, how he has and will help me. It has been a while, so I started thinking about the things God has given me, and not the things I feel he should give me right now.

After that, I was talking to some friends about something that has been bothering me lately. I have been really bothered by how my teaching job ended, and how I felt like a failure as a teacher. It was a really good conversation, they reassured me that I could be a good teacher if given the chance. I feel so much better about the whole thing now. It had just been building up and building up, and they helped me realize that it wasn't all me, that it was my circumstances also.

Then I got home and I didn't know what to do, so I went and laid out by the pool in my apartment complex. It was the first time that I had done that since last summer. I needed time to relax by myself, and that was a good way to get it. I love laying out, I used to go everyday last summer. I even got in and swam around a little.

Last night one of my friends, Tiffany, got married, so a couple of girls from my singles group drove down the Galleria to see her get married. It was so fun, because Tiffany is one of my really good friends, and I know that groom, Rick, also. The reception was so fun, the food was SOOO good, and they had great music to dance to. I am so happy for Rick and Tiffany. I remember when Rick came to our group, and when they started dating. It was a really fun time, and I caught the bouquet!!! Better watch out...hehe.

Yesterday was just a blessed day, I haven't felt that way in a long time, so I thought I'd write about it. That's it!!!

Case of the Blah's

Fri, 25 May 2007 14:03:09 GMT

I'm really having a case of the monday's today, and it's Friday!!!! It's the pits. Traffic has been really stressful this week (blah), an 18 wheeler almost ran over me this morning. People down here are suppose to have southern hospitality. I don't think the dozens of people who cut me off on 290 and 610 everyday have that....blah.

I have been comparing different health insurance plans because I don't get it though my employeer. The monthly premiums are so expensive, and the deductables are very very very high. I was looking at the insurance I had with my last job, the deductable was only $200 dollars, if only!!!! Then the insurance covered like 80% after the deductable was met. The plans I'm looking at now have like a $2500 or $5000 deductable and they cover maybe 20% after it is met, blah. So, I don't know what I'm gonna do about that. I will have to see that all the presidential candiates say about improving healthcare in America, that is my biggest factor right now.

One thing I am really looking forward to today, though, is my sister (Sharon) is coming to eat lunch with me today, I'm so excited!!!! I miss her sometimes.

I got new carpet in my office yesterday, so that's another good thing. The carpet that was in there before was from when the building was built mayber 45 years ago I think!!! We are having the moving guys that are moving the furniture back in rearrange it, so it will be something new.

So that's it, nothing too exciting, but nothing two dramatic either

Survey Thingie...

Thu, 24 May 2007 22:14:50 GMT

I love these things!!!

1. When you looked at yourself in the mirror today, what was the first thing you thought?
I look sleepy...because I am

2. How much cash do you have on you?
$20 bucks or so

3. What's a word that rhymes with "TEST"
BEST

4. Favorite planet?
I saw Saturn this weekend through a telescope....it was awesome!!!

5. Who is the 4th person on your missed call list on your cell phone?
Kristi B

6. What is your favorite ring on your phone?
Umbrella by Rhianna

7. What shirt are you wearing?
White sleeveless

8. How do you ‘label’ yourself?
friendly

9. Name the brand of your shoes you're currently wearing.
xhiliration

10. Bright or Dark Room?
Bright!!!

11.Do you still live with your parents?
Nope, I live on my own

12.At around 3:00 PM yesterday you were doing what:
still trying to recover from lunch Olive Garden and working

13. What were you doing at midnight last night?
I was sleeping....zzzz

14. Do you wear sunglasses while driving?
always always always...unless its night....i LOVE my big sunglasses!!

15. If you're driving in the middle of the night, and no one is around do you run red lights?
eh, I may slow down and not stop if I'm in the country, not in Houston, though...dang red light cameras

16. What's a saying that you use a lot?
'Are you serious?'

17.Who told you they loved you last?
my sister

18. Last furry thing you touched?
Bella, my precious neice-dog

19. Boston Red Sox or New York Yankees?
Yankee's all the way baby (except for Roger Clements...blah...)

20. Whatdid you dress up as for halloween?
Cowgirl

21. What do you usually think about before you go to bed?:
i'm gonna be tired tomorrow because its so late

22. What did you do last weekend?
Went camping with some friends...it was so fun!!

23. What is your current desktop picture?
palm trees....oh I wish

24. What was the last thing you said to someone?
'Oh really?'

25. If you had to choose between a million bucks or to be able to fly, which would you choose?
million bucks...baby

26. Do you make your bed?
Everyday....

27. The last song you listened to?
Gnarls Barkley 'Crazy

Teaching Stuff...

Wed, 23 May 2007 03:15:18 GMT

As some know.... I went to school to be a teacher, and I did teach last school year. But due to some circumstances, I decided it was time to lay that aside for a while and do something else. Teaching just wasn't what I thought it was going to be.

It seems like that lately there are SO many people telling me, 'Give teaching one more try' or 'You know you miss teaching' or 'It's a calling for you'...blah blah blah. Really, I do miss some parts of teaching, but I like the work I have now. I just don't know why people can't leave me alone about it. I would hope that it wouldn't matter to people that care about me as long as I am happy.

I defiantly was not happy when I was teaching. Part of this stems from my own insecurities about my situation and my teaching ability, but mostly it was how I was treated by parents, students, and administrators. There are always difficult people in any job, but I think this teaching job really stretched the boundaries of this tolerance. For the most part (with the exception of a few people) I am treated alright in my present job, which I appreciate. Now I work in the oil industry, and for the most part, I like it. I have met several ex-teachers at Shell, and they thought it was time to do something different for the same reasons as me. I was just talking to one of them the other day about it.

People ask me if I miss all of the time off, and I do, but I was home all last summer after the school year ended, and it got to be really boring. There are only so many days in a row you can lay out by the pool! After the first month, you have done everything you wanted to do, and you don't know what to do for your time. People don't understand that the summer is just catch-up time from all of the unpaid overtime and 30-minute lunches (if that) during the school year (props to the teachers out there!) I just wish I could have a week or so this summer off...oh well I am thinking about taking a weekend trip somewhere or something.

Yay Xanga...

Tue, 22 May 2007 16:29:13 GMT

Do I decided to give this Xanga thingie a try. I was thinking that journaling was a good idea since I have been a little bit on the stressed out side lately, so I thought it would be good to get my thought out in the open. Now I need to come up with some ideas....